Sunday, September 10, 2006

Geraldo investigates the Ace of Spades disappearance

Geraldo Rivera here folks. Tonight we will be investigating the mysterious disappearance of the world renowned, but very seclusive, blogger Ace of Spades. We will be delving in depth into the life and lifestyle of this shadowy neo-nazi scum tube personality. What you will see isn't pretty. In fact, its ugly, degenerate, and more perverted than you could ever imagine. By the end of this show I'm pretty certain you'll be thinking this criminally insane moron character richly deserved whatever tawdry fate has befallen him. First we'll start out with a series of interviews with other bloggers who have interacted with Ace. First up is Sobek.

So Sobek, do you think Ace is still alive or has he met with some foul play and gone to his 72 virgins?

Unfortunately, I believe he's still alive. The "buzz" in my circles is that he has gone over to the other side -- the dark side. There has been some speculation that Nancy Pelosi has promised him a lucrative political consultant position as the DNC's premier 5th column blog propagandist. He is a sneaky little bastard you know and Carville has kind kept a low profile ever since the crazies took over the party.

That's a facinating conspiracy theory Sobek, but would Ace really as you say "go over to the other side"? In the past he has mocked the democrat leadership pretty unmercifully. It's hard to imagine he would flip like that just to put a few bucks in his pocket.

This Ace guy is a hack Geraldo. A blatant hard right hitman with no conscience what so ever. He crushed a baby bunny just the other day so he could watch it die. Then he burned its poor little body and had deviant sex with the chared remains. I bet you didn't know that, but its true. It really is. We're talking perversion and a capacity for violence worse than Dahmer.

So Chris, you think this Ace character isn't a good fit for the image of the democrat party if he took this job Pelosi is suspected of offering? If the democrats have hired a deviant bunny killer, that would be quite a black eye wouldn't it?

What are you talking about Geraldo? Ace is the finest example of humanity I have ever known. He's been granted 20 honorary PhD's and got a Nobel Peace prize last year ferchrisakes. I'm going to have to trust Nancy on this one. If Nancy says he's OK, then he's OK. Why are you engaging in this vicious character assassination on such a fine American. Have you no shame man?

Geraldo, I'm here to tell you that the rumors are true. Ace has joined the DNC as a consultant. Yes, its true that he can be a tad rambunctious at times, and you really don't want to go digging in his back yard, but he's put all that behind him now and has had what amounts to a voluntary political religious conversion. He realizes we are the way now.

Ummm...that wouldn't be a spiked whip you have there would it Nancy? I don't suppose this sudden conversion of Ace's you claim has anything to do with that whip would it?

Holly cow, its Ace. He's back. Lets see what he has to say about this whole affair.

Hari Krishna, krishna, krishna, krishna.

Hari Krishna, krishna, krishna, krishna.

Hari Krishna, krishna, krishna, krishna.

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