The Skwib
A new invention has helped employers create the first “inappropriate thought” sensor.Although this is a parody, the technology is real and could be put to use in an office environment for a number of purposes. Diagnostic electricians have been using thermograhy for years now to detect circuit breakers, relays, and connections that are overheating. An infrared camera could be hidden in a conference room where negotiations are going on to detect body temperature variations in participants (temp rises can correspond to lies)
Based on recent sexual studies showing that women get aroused as quickly as men, the invention measures the temperature of an employee’s genital area. The thermal imaging camera can measure temperature changes from a distance and relay the information to a computer for analysis.
Its patent name is “Portable and Hidden Device for Thermal Imaging of Genital Areas”, but the inventor, Dr. Shabby Fingler, calls it the “Chubby Detector”.
Though many companies are known for watching the content of employees’ email, instant messages, blogs, and web browsing, this new device is a major breakthrough.
“I’ve already had more than thirty Fortune 500 companies order the Chubby Detector,” Dr. Fingler told The Skwib. “There is a great deal of interest in monitoring employee’s sexual behavior and thoughts.”...
2 comments:
Well, it worked in 1989 with off-the-shelf British hardware used by the US military for Low intensity conflict / and narco-interdiction missions.
Most of the FLIR units that the Police have on their copters can detect fractional degree changes, with the technology improvements in the past 16 years they had better!
As far as the subject of the post - well lets just say that our female contractors had NO secrets from the FLIR operators.
Grisly Hunter Vet
One of my friends is a deputy with the Palm Beach sheriff. He says the pot growing out in the sugar cane fields (western part of the county) shows right up on IR even though you can't otherwise notice it from the air.
The dopers are always trying to plant out in the cane fields.
Post a Comment