Friday, October 13, 2006

Fire a medieval trebuchet - online simulation & competition


The blog arms race is on. Some deranged maniac, calling himself IowaHawk has decided to up the ante. My blog security advisor Mr. T responded thusly when made aware of this development: "I pity the fool".

I can now announce publicly that construction of the Florida Homeland Defense Forces giant trebuchet is nearing completion. Trials and field testing will begin within days. Preliminary engineering calculations indicate our mother of all trebuchets will be capable of launching a 55 gallon drum full of of rotten festering dead sea urchins into a suborbital trajectory with a range of up to 2,000 miles. We expect a streamlined nose cone and stabilizer tailfins to extend the range of the urchin barrel to 2200 miles in subsequent trials.

Landlocked states should not be so reckless in their demands. Coastal states, like Florida, have ready access to terrible weapons of retribution. With the development of our new mother of all trebuchets we will have the technology the rain biological horror down on any who would threaten us. So, take pause Iowahawk -- do you really want a 55 gallon drum full of rotting sea urchin carcasses crashing into your bedroom? I think not.

Ancient weaponry has always been an item of modest facination for me. I remember well quite a few hours as a rambunctious youth snuggled up with an old Encyclopedia Britanica pouring over the drawings and descriptions of such things. Their performance using the materiels and construction techniques available at the time was rather impressive...and more importantly could be duplicated on a smaller scale by a motivated young boy with ready access to some tools and a barn full of random scrap lumber.

I became quite adept at working a traditional sling (the David and Goliath type sling, not a slingshot). It took a while and lots of practice, but that lowly sling (which I'd manufactured myself) could indeed be a very formidable and potentially lethal weapon in the hands of a highly skilled shooter. I will note that the sling can make for some interesting Halloween entertainment when used to launch eggs against an opposition force equipped only with hands/arms to throw them. Today we call that sort of thing a "standoff weapon". As a youth, I'd never heard the term of course, but I understood the concept very well and realized it was a very good thing ;->

The Trebuchet is one of the classic Medieval standoff weapons. Give it a go.


A Trebuchet in action:

H/T The Smallest Minority


The Merry Widow said...

PA- Even better, abarrel full of the half rotted sea cucumbers after a nor'easter blows in! They would have to evacuate an entire state before hazmat crews were even started! They would be wretching in their suits! Bwahahahahaha!!
Good afternoon, G*D bless and Maranatha!


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