Garage door opener causes erection

The Register

An anonymous Merseyside man who had an implant to "help with erection problems" has found he becomes uncontrollably aroused every time his neighbour pulls up in his 4X4, the Scottish Daily Record reports.

The spontaneous hardening is due not to a Liverpudlian all-terrain fetish, but rather to the car owner's garage door remote which, well, here's a transcript of the conversation the poor chap had with BBC Radio Merseyside host Roger Phillips when he rather splendidly chose to share his woes with the world...